Wave Goodbye, Say Hello!™ Series #12

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Biasing Reality. This issue will cover Overreacting to Circumstances.

12. Overreacting to Circumstances

When this is present, we become overly disturbed or distressed by what happens to others or ourselves. It interferes with our ability to maintain a strong sense of who we are under extreme conditions. This limits our ability to see things clearly and make informed decisions. We jump to conclusions by making erroneous assumptions.

When this dynamic is removed, we feel a sense of balance or calmness, whether we are experiencing a joyful or painful event. This balance allows us to maintain perspective and not take things personally when business crises occur, allowing us to lead with resolve.

What's up Next: How the wavemaker works to free you of these core dynamics.

Wave Goodbye, Say Hello!™ Series #11

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Needing to be Right. This issue will cover Biasing Reality.

11. Biasing Reality

Basically when this happens, we manufacture interpretations by unknowingly fabricating explanations. We get overly absorbed in trying to explain or interpret events, instead of recognizing things “are what they are.” There is nothing to explain. This behavior is based on the illusion that everything is not perfect as it is. Our intellect gets in the way and tries to justify things instead of accepting them as they are. When this dynamic is absent, we tend to be in the flow and appreciate the present. From a business perspective, we learn to capitalize on a situation, rather than to fight it. Hence, we take the path of least resistance, which enables us to see opportunities and move forward.

Stay tuned for #12: Overreacting to Circumstances

Wave Goodbye, Say Hello!™ Series #10

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Trying to Force an Outcome. This issue will cover Needing to be Right.

10. Needing to be Right

What happens here is excluding others’ perspectives. When this dynamic is present, we tend to over identify with our minds and think we have and need to have all of the answers. It comes from not recognizing the difference between thinking with our minds and knowing from our deepest level or our soul. When this dynamic is absent, we are free to continually be open to new ways of seeing things and increase our creativity. With that mindset, we start to look for greater possibilities that could lead to serendipitous results and creative breakthroughs, rather than narrowly focusing on a solution to one particular problem and never seeing beyond it.

Stay tuned for #11: Biasing Reality

Wave Goodbye, Say Hello!™ Series #9

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals.Last time we covered Playing it Safe. This issue will cover Trying to Force an Outcome.

9. Trying to Force an Outcome

When this dynamic is operating, people feel compelled to make things happen. These folks are commonly known as control freaks. They want things done in a particular way or in a particular time frame—“my way or the highway.” They mistakenly believe that they alone have control over what happens in their lives.

When this dynamic is removed, they get a sense of themselves from the essential nature of who they are rather than from their actions or accomplishments. This is true particularly in leadership roles. Many leaders who have to lead and direct others make the mistake of thinking that they are the ones who have to do it, as opposed to setting the example and letting others take on their own responsibilities.

Stay tuned for #10: Needing to be Right

Wave Goodbye, Say Hello!™ Series #8

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Fearing Change. This issue will cover Playing it Safe.

8. Playing it Safe

This dynamic is particularly prevalent among women who are commonly taught to “be nice” and not make waves. So sometimes the glass ceiling can be self-imposed, negatively affecting their careers. It also affects men preparing for executive positions. Here, both men and women are limiting self-expression because they tend to hold themselves back in the fear of losing approval of others or that they’ll be leaving others behind. It’s based on the illusion that if they powerfully express themselves; they are going to be isolated. Many times people who could go well beyond their potential are afraid that if they really express themselves and do what they really want to do, their peers, their parents, or their family won’t love them anymore. They’ll be abandoned and they will feel lonely at the top. What they don’t realize is that there are other people at the top and that they will make new friends.

Regrettably, playing it safe because of fear of isolation promotes mediocrity. We see this all the time in business. In the corporate environment there are often politics involved. Knowing how to express oneself in a politically charged environment adds to the challenge, but is possible. Thus, when this dynamic is removed, one can say, “I am fully self-expressed without fearing loss of love of others.”

Stay tuned for #9: Trying To Force an Outcome

Wave Goodbye, Say Hello!™ Series #7

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Seeking Validation. This issue will cover Fearing Change.

7. Fearing Change

This one is huge. When this dynamic shows up (and it does in most of us), we find ourselves looking for events around us to stay the same so we can feel secure. It’s based on the illusion that stability and security can be found in the changing world around us rather than within us. So, people don’t want to change because they think that they can keep things the same all the time to feel safe.

When you’re free of this dynamic, your attitude changes. You are likely to say, “Wow, I have no idea what’s going to happen, but whatever it is, it’s going to be a good surprise.” In my case, for the first twenty years of business, every January I would say to myself, “Oh gosh, I wonder where my next dollar is going to come from.” I worried because the research I developed had a “shelf life” and I would have to identify new cutting-edge research and figure out first what to research and then how to market it. This sent me into panic mode, scrambling for solutions and not being very pleasant to be around until about March. However, after having the core dynamics “debugged” about six years ago, I found myself saying, “Oh gee, I wonder what cool things I’m going to be doing this year to increase my business. It’s sure going to be interesting and fun to find out!” The result of this change of attitude and embracing of change was to double my revenues that first year and enjoy steady growth over the past five years. I see similar results for my clients. They may not double their revenues, but they definitely increase their bottom line and do it with a lot less stress.

Stay tuned for #8: Playing it Safe

Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ Series #6

Do you feel like your career is being derailed?

Get on Track! Be on Track! Stay on Track!™

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Lacking Self-Esteem. This issue will cover Seeking Validation.

6. Seeking Validation

Now, when this dynamic is operating, we confuse love, which is unconditional and requires nothing in return, with the need to receive something from someone else. Think of it this way: love lets go and need holds on. This dynamic is based on the illusion that love is something you get from outside of yourself. This is constantly modeled to us through our cultural conditioning, movies, songs, and media, particularly country-western songs. Our whole society talks about getting love from someone else as opposed to understanding that you need to love yourself first. So when this dynamic is no longer present, you say, “I love unconditionally and participate in relationships of mutual giving.” This enables you to truly network quality relationships.

Stay tuned for #7: Fearing Change