Monday, October 06, 2008

Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ Series #6

This is a continuation of our series on achieving success. Many of us are plagued with habits that keep us from being the best that we can be in our job, our career, or in life. Say Hello,Wave Goodbye!™ is an innovative coaching approach that removes those destructive habits and allows you to move forward and gain success. This series of blogs addresses the 12 most common habits that hold you back. They are called Core Dynamics of Common Problems™, which are excerpted from my chapter in the book, Coaching for Success (2008). You’ll learn why you are stuck and how the removal of these dynamics will set you free to pursue your goals. Last time we covered Lacking Self-Esteem. This issue will cover Seeking Validation.

6. Seeking Validation

Now, when this dynamic is operating, we confuse love, which is unconditional and requires nothing in return, with the need to receive something from someone else. Think of it this way: love lets go and need holds on. This dynamic is based on the illusion that love is something you get from outside of yourself. This is constantly modeled to us through our cultural conditioning, movies, songs, and media, particularly country-western songs. Our whole society talks about getting love from someone else as opposed to understanding that you need to love yourself first. So when this dynamic is no longer present, you say, “I love unconditionally and participate in relationships of mutual giving.” This enables you to truly network quality relationships.

Stay tuned for #7: Fearing Change

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